Now I am faced with the fact that I may loose all of these privileges, and I am truly scared. Scared my girl friend will dump me. Scared I will have to sell my car and cell, cut off my internet connection, and go back to doing data entry work. It is not like I can find another job like the one I have now, not with the current economy. It is always 20/20 hindsite. I wanted to go to Graduate school, but I didn't have the money, or the applications in on time, and so I took a job in a field that is only marginally related to my own: Information Technology Consulting. I am in the Networking group, and this is a farce. I am a programmer by trade. I am also very handy with Computer Science theory, when it comes to networking I am a clutz. I have known this fact for some time, because my father is a networker. You would think that if I didn't pick it up from him, it wasn't going to happen. Fortunately, until now I have been the security guy's backup. There was a shift in organization, the primary security guy is now my boss, and I have become the "primary security guru". I do okay with most of the task that are given me. Aside from one major Fubar last week, my record has been spotless on the security side of things. I get the assigned task done, and I get them done in a timely fashion. Albeit, not always as elegantly as a true professional -- I am a yearling after all. Now the situation seems to be changing. Something in the mix, someone up stairs, seems to think that I'm not earning my keep; despite having more project hours than anyone else (which means more money for the company) -- granted those are all programming projects that no one else has the time/skills to complete, and they don't really fall under the guise of the group I'm in. Now they are pushing me into a role I am unsuited for, and altogether untrained for. I mean really, these fuckers are the kind that only help their cock sucking buddies, they have scarcely taken the time to teach me the skills I need to do the real networking side of my job. They are pushing me into the consulting side of the business. Saying that I am now responsible for spec'ing out equipment, and visiting customers on sales calls. What the fuck? When I started here, I was in a network monitoring/security role; my title is "Network Security Analyst", how does that translate into "Network Engineer". They have a damn good engineer that is the so-called junior engineer, whom they pay peanuts. Meanwhile, the Senior Engineer sits on his ass making 3 times as much money. It isn't right. Now they are pushing me into this engineering crap too? Why isn't the Senior Engineer the one doing the specs for this stuff? They hardly let me get on a router or a switch (not that I really wanted to mind you) while I was an intern, now they want me to spec this stuff out for our customers. I can't handle being: the resident programmer, the network monitoring guy, the off-site consultant, and the firewall administrator. Jack of All Trades, Master of None: it just isn't going to work.
