I've been in the dumps most of the month. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed heading into the end of the semester - though most of the pressure I feel is internal. I'm trying to rewrite my personal statement, but I'm paralyzed with fear. I could go off on a tangent about fear and how it is the last and most difficult hurdle to jump but I'm not going to. I'm rarely afraid, but in the arena where I know that I'm going to be judged by other people's standards, yes, I can freely admit I how some concerns about it; PhD applications is an arena where the candidates are judged by the perceptions of the admissions boards, there isn't a thing I can do about it. The thing is I'm too smart. I understand how the system works and realize that I was not in synch with it starting with the high school that I went to.
