I want to feel again. To taste the fulness of life. To hear, to see, and to smell it. To breath it in deeply. To live in the moment.
Yesterday, I discovered
The Flaming Lips. Wow. They stirred something up inside of me that I haven't felt in a long time. I feel like schooling is beginning to stunt my growth. I feel like I've crawled over the top of the mesa of knowledge and I'm looking out across the barren vista below and its empty down there. It's lonely, so so lonely. And of what use are the skills that I have now? Do I feel like using them to slave away for someone else? No. Can I work for myself? Not exactly, not yet. What purpose can they serve me? Skills in and of themselves are wastes.
I feel in this moment like one feels after reading a really great piece of poetry; I feel full of life. Colors are sharper, my feelings are deeper. Life is more real in this moment than any in the recent past. I don't know what I'm going to do, or how, or if I'll do well or poorly or average. I just know that things are changing and I'm ready for the change.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say here.... I just want to feel again.
To feel...
